"Will You Be My Bridesmaid?" Poem + Cookie

When I was planning my first wedding (and yes, thanks to Hurricane Sandy I basically planned two weddings), I was going to have 6 bridesmaids.  On my actual wedding day, because our guest list was so small, I actually only had my sister as my M-O-H and Brian only had a Best Man. 

Anyway, I originally wanted my sister plus my 5 closest girlfriends to be my bridesmaids.  There are some really cute and clever ways to ask your friends to be your bridesmaids.  Personally, I wanted to get them each a small gift that would match the color scheme I had chosen for my wedding.  I also wanted to ask them to be my bridal party by writing a poem.  There is no greater pleasure in life for me than writing bridal poems.  Yes, I'm serious.  Yes, I know that makes me a giant dork.

I reached out to my friend who makes really yummy and really beautiful baked goods.  I wanted her to make giant sugar cookies in the shapes of bridesmaid dresses (in yellow - the color they would wear).  She went above and beyond and not only made dress cookies but she also made matching dress clutches and wrote each girl's name at the bottom of the cookie.

Adorable, right?  And she even made a bride's dress for me.  :)



She wrapped them individually in clear wrap and attached this poem that I wrote, to the packaging:

Will you “shower” me with a pretty lil’ party?

Will you hurry me along when I’m sure to be tardy?

Will you throw me a bachelorette that will go down in the books?

Will you please call me a Bridezilla if I give a dirty look?

Will you get a mani/pedi with me before the big day?

Will you make me smile when things don’t go my way?

Will you wipe my tears when I’m a weeping bride-to-be?

Will you hold my dress up when I have to pee?

Will you take too many pics and dance the night away?

Will you be my bridesmaid on my wedding day?

 

I think this pic of my friends, Daria & Lauren, shows just how much my bridesmaids loved their gift.  They all said "YES!" 

 

The (Un)Veiled Bride

I think the best part about getting married in this day and age is that there are no rules.  Brides are no longer upheld to antiquated standards.  You don't want to get married in a church?  Don't.  You don't want to wear a white dress?  Don't.  You don't want to toss the bouquet?  Don't (and I promise all your single girlfriends will say a silent "Thank God").

You don't want to wear a veil?  Don't.

I was once told by a woman who had probably gotten married about three decades ago that I would surely regret it if I didn't wear a veil.  She said without a veil, I would never feel like a bride; I'd just feel like a girl in a really pretty dress.  I respectfully listened to her opinion, as I did throughout my entire wedding planning process when people offered me their not-at-all-requested opinions.  And then I cried.

I found the more I shared about my wedding plans, the more unwelcome advice I yielded from just about everyone.

Women, and especially bride-to-bes, are natural people pleasers.  We seek approval from our mothers, sisters, bridesmaids, future in-laws and the women we meet in line at the grocery store.  And maybe this just applies to me, but I was also extra sensitive while I was planning my wedding (hence why I cried about the innocuous veil comment).  I felt like every single day I had to make a wedding-related decision that might not be "approved" by each and every person involved in the wedding.  I agonized over this.  When someone, anyone, voiced their disapproval over one of my decisions, I let it eat at me.

I spent an absurd amount of time trying to keep everyone else happy during my 10-month engagement that at some points I was quite unhappy myself.  My wedding planning experience was a series of extremes - really high highs (starting with my fairy tale engagement) and really low lows (when we found out our venue was ruined during Hurricane Sandy).  Although I think every bride can relate at some level, if I could do it all over again, I'd ignore the critics and cynics. 

Luckily, I had a very supportive fiancé whose mantra was basically, "It's OUR day.  All that matters is what WE want." 

Brian and I had many conversations during our engagement that went something like this:
Me: I don't really want to make a big thing out of cutting the cake.  I kind of want it to just be me and you.
Brian: Me too.
Me: But what if {fill-in-the-blank with either of our mother's names} gets upset?
Brian: Who cares?  It's OUR wedding.

I didn't wear a veil on my wedding day and I still very much felt like a bride.  I wore flowers in my hair instead - something that is very me.  A veil just isn't me.  And that's okay.  There are no rules.  Actually - there's just one rule that I want you to follow...

Follow Brian's advice (wow - never thought I'd say that on this blog).  Act like a man for once.  Do what you want.